2014 leftovers

Hooray folks, here's to another trip around the sun taking us right back where we started.

As I write this I have no idea where I'd like this post to go. To begin with, I thought I'd go through the post drafts I saved in the course of 2014 which you guys never read because I though they were utter crappola. One of the posts that never saw the proverbial light of day was about fashion things which at the time made my heart skip a beat, like these Delpozo shoes, which basically consist of gift wrapping for one's feet.

Everything else I put on that draft I now find a bit cringeworthy. And I'm not sure if it's winter making me cynical and turning my heart into stone, but I'm not even sure of the Delpozos either, unless wearing them with big fat mismatched socks is a possibility (like, over my dead body).

At another point I also thought I'd write a post about all the crazy stuff that gets sold out on luxury e-commerce, as it normally falls into three categories: a) it was actually great value so it's gone in 1,0902934 miliseconds (note: very rare but has been observed); b) a 10.000€ dress; c) it something that costs 10.000€ and it's B U T T  U G L Y. Here's a wee challenge: is thisValentino sweater a), b) or c)?

Oh no it's sold out and it was JUST THE THING I WANTED. 

Then I had an epiphany about Oprah Winfrey's style. It seemed noteworthy that her stylist made a point of dressing her in these exquisite draped jersey dresses (spotted: ISSA, Donna Karan), both during daytime events and red carpet ceremonies. Sure, I love the sense of style of all the same young skinny betches y'all do, but let's just take a moment to realize that even though she hasn't invented the style wheel, Queen Oprah is here to remind us all that style can be really simple and that clothes are only any good if they bring out the best in us. And that she looks FINE.

So blogwise I part ways with 2014  by serving you my leftover ideas, taken straight out of my brain microwave half heated-half cold. I'm not sure what will inspire me in 2015 but there better be something spectacular. I have this strange relationship with fashion where, on the one hand, I am confronted with something so completely new and/or beautiful that I can't help but dream... only soon after to be brought down from this trip by the raw realization that it is just clothes, shoes, bags to carry things. When this happens I run out of things to say - I even grow tired of my own thoughts, as it all seems so meaningless.

For 2015 I won't be wishing for Louboutins to rain from the skies or anything. I reckon what I'd really like for next year is some really good, gut busting laughs. Also on my 'nice' list new Game of Thrones episodes soon, seeing friends fulfill their dreams, dance, and never stop learning things.

       

Streetstyle commonplaces

I have just seen the milionth photo of a beautiful girl wearing a pair of Valentinos and holding a bike with pretty little basket. 'Scuse me while I dejá-vu all over the fucking place.

I remember the time when we all switched to blogs because they were a fresh alternative to fashion magazines, yet now I have the same feeling about blogs I once had about glossy publications - that they too have become samey, bombarding us with similar content, shapes, brands, beauty standards, just as magazines used to do. After milking streetstyle for I dont know how many years, it should come as no surprise that its fashion forwardness has slowly begun to wane. I feel let down by fashion blogs in general (and sometimes even bored of streetstyle photography) because for me it rarely portrays individuality, which is what used to draw me into it the most.

image via Carolines Mode | Stockholm Streetstyle

FREGUEEEESAS!

(Much to the disappointment of my vast international readership  - um, lol -, this post is in Portuguese only.)

 Como prometido, cá vão os primeiros itens (items? Ítenes? As primeiras CENAS, pronto) que aqui tenho à procura de novas donas. Todas estas peças são coisas que adoro, e das quais me desfaço apenas porque, sinceramente, não lhes dou o uso que merecem. 

Ora então cá vai, sim?

Número uno: sandálias azuis da Bershka, tamanho 37. Confortáveis daqui até à China. Comprei-as porque me faziam lembrar umas Miu Miu que saíram na mesma altura, mas sem o zero à direita no preço. Usei-as pouco, estão novinhas e ficam giras como tudo no pé por causa das tiras. Levem-nas daqui por 12€, filhas.

Ah, estas sabrinas Chanel... Fui muito feliz com elas. Entretanto, vendi-as a uma menina de Milão há uns meses pelo eBay, mas quando lá chegaram a ragazza percebeu que não lhe serviam e desfizemos o negócio. Estão novamente disponíveis; são tamanho 37,5 e vossas por 80€.

Clutch rígida de festa Accessorize, do tempo em que os dinossauros ainda deambulavam pelo planeta Terra. Continuo a achá-la linda, e adoro a textura, o laçarote e o tom discreto de dourado. Não a uso, simplesmente. Já ninguém me convida para festas. #onewaytickettoLosertown :,( 

Aguarda uma freguesa que queira dar 15€ por ela. 

Esta mala foi a minha mala preferida durante anos a fio. Por isso é que já tem as pegas assim um bocado para o amarelas. É de uma pele de réptil cujo nome não me ocorre assim de repente, e linda de morrer. É Miu Miu, e vossa por 130€. 

Lembram-se quando a Dolce & Gabbana desatou a vender pijamas de usar na rua, aqui há uns anos atrás? Não? Bem, não interessa. Comprei esta versão de polyester (triste, eu sei) na Zara, super macias, confortáveis e com este padrão hipnótico super cool,  por causa dessa tal colecção. São um tamanho S e, por 10€, vossas.

Ai, Jimmy Choo, Jimmy Choo. Eh pá, levem-nos rápido antes que me arrependa. São maravilhosos, confortáveis por serem compensados à frente, chiques que só eles, tamanho 37. Têm uma 'mordidela no salto do sapato direito, cortesia da calçada portuguesa. 170€.

São tão giras estas saias rodadas pelo joelho... usou-as uma certa rockabilly que há em mim. Entretanto, não me tem dado para tal coisa, portanto estas meninas estão disponíveis para adoptar um novo lar. São tamanho XS.  Rodopiem por aí fora com elas por 10€ cada.

Este top All Saints é fixe todos os dias: as cores são lindas e assenta daquela maneira relaxada que faz toda a gente achar que não perdemos dois segundos a pensar no que íamos vestir e mesmo assim estamos espectaculares.  É um M, está a 15€. 

Esta carteira Zara é tão fixe e tem tão bom aspecto, que se dissesse Balenciaga na etiqueta ninguém duvidava. 25€.

 Carteira vintage (em cima): 20€;  Mala Bimba y Lola em tecido, tipo tapeçaria (abajo): 30€

Pólo Fred Perry by Amy Winehouse (que Baco a tenha), tamanho UK10 (um M). Nunca usei, pá, 'tá novinho em folha. Levaide-ze-o por 15€. 

Este vestido French Connection foi o meu vestido preferido durante muito tempo. O tecido em jacquard dourado é lindo. Levem-no por 25€ enquanto eu verto umas lágrimas de despedida. É tamanho UK 10 (um M).

E pronto, meninas, fica por aqui a parte I da limpeza do meu armário. As despesas de envio são por conta da freguesa, mas sendo possível, entrego pessoalmente. Perguntas? Dúvidas? Mais fotos e informações? É só dizer. 

xx

Lewee Vutan, y'alls.

I chuckled when I saw these Vuitton boots on style.com today:

 There's something about the all-overness of the monogram, the comfortable looking heel, the wearable shape of this boot that makes me feel uneasy... am I being tricked? Is this a faux-leather boot made in butt-fucking-god.knows-where that's been photoshopped to oblivion as a joke? And why is there so much brand all over it? And why is it so... vernacular?

And despite knowing this is the real deal, I can't help but think it looks fake (how very conceptually dense - now: jokes aside, could brands find inspiration in their most unsophisticated immitations?).  

But since we're at it, here's a couple of other sassy Vutan things these boots brought to mind (just to help you out, Mr. Ghesquière, just in case you read this, which I'm totes sure you do,  while you have your tuna sammich at your desk for lunch): 

Nice crib.

Nice ride.

Nice pump.

Nice bag.

Nice boots (love the Gucci tag, best of both worlds).

Nice um... shoes.

Nice purse. 

Nice DYI job. I mean, you can hardly tell.

Nice pig. (by belgian artist Wim Delvoye, whom you don't want to not know.)

Sh*t I'm currently digging.

I've got major hots for this Moschino Cheap and Chic dress:

Am I delirious or is it totally Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? I love the fact that it's got a little hint of Loserville about it, a dash of good-girl in the shape, plus a bit of kitsch via the pattern resembling something a dumb tourist would wear. Imagine, all of this at once! This is a dress for good times and good times is what we all need.

"We can't stop here! This is bat country."

I'd wear this with the hottest red lipstick available plus (well, in a fantasy world where 500€ notes rain from the skies) just about any Charlotte Olympia shoe under the sun, which I love like a fat kid loves crack. Or a back-alley hooker loves cake. Wait, am I mixing these up? And I'd also throw in some Miu Miu shades to make the whole thing look a wee bit nostalgic. "Ah, si j'étais riche..."

On a different note, this girl called Sequin makes really cool music. Plus she's cute as hell. 

See? I told you she was hella cute.

I think she's like the musical lovechild of John Grant and Lykke Li. This song reminds me of Grant's "Blackbelt in BS", and I get a feeling there's some Lykke Li in the mix, although I can't quite put my finger on it. Doesn't matter, give it a spin. There's another tune called Flamingo that's pretty cool too.

Big-ass latino earrings are my kryptonite (pictured above: Oscar de la Renta clip-on earrings available at Net-a-Porter). Everytime I flick through a magazine and see one of them swedish princesses wearing tiny pearl or diamond earrings, I think 'aah, how lovely and delicate', but if I go shopping for something similar I always end up with some massive chunkadelic ones instead. I don't know, it's either the Carmen Miranda in me, or maybe there's something about having two christmas trees hanging from my earlobes that aligns my head chakras.

Mr. Selfridge, my latest televisual crack. It's about Harry Gordon Selfridge and how he set up the huge department store in London. He wanted to change the early 20th century stiff british mentality and make shopping exciting (can you believe shopping wasn't exciting once??). It seems as though this process was interesting enough to the point where making a whole tv series about it actually made sense. Plus, the costumes are gorgeous, Jeremy Piven ain't so bad to look at, Selfridges is heaven on earth, so it's win win win, ladies.

Sockandsandalgate - a most grave affair.

Wearing socks with sandals is a controversial fashion combination and cultural phenomenon that is discussed in various countries and cultures. It is sometimes considered a fashion faux pas.    - in Wikipedia

This image showed up on my facebook feed today, and got me thinkin'!

You know what? YES YOU CAN. Or you bloody well should. Don't get me wrong, I realize this photo was made to look great - I appreciate the dynamic foot pose, the colours are great, I even dig the blue jeans with a girly floral pattern, the fluffy pink socks, the mirrored surface of the sandals with a punk yet conceptual edge. But this is exactly what pisses me off about fashion, it's when it works great on a photograph and has no intention to do so in real, three-dimensional life. In fact, outside photos like this, it's just a plain ugly-ass trend. 

Allow me to quickly remind you of how this horrendous combo originated, ja?

Fig.1 The tourist. The creature who's never heard of trainers, slip-ons, or any other shoe offering wonderfully high levels of comfort. Because only sandals and socks will efficiently respond to the tough demands of a hardcore tourist's life. 

Then, desperate for inspiration, those super cool fashion peeps at Cèline looked at the tourist and were all like 'hey let's pimp the shit out of this' and here's what came out:

Crazy, right? I have to say, I like them as an object because they confuse the hell out of me. I mean, they seem to have been made for two opposite seasons and generally make very little sense, which, to be honest, I think is the only good thing about them. But, seriously, no matter how many times I see these shoes being worn by those super fab fashionistas who are like the Bon Jovi-like goddesses of the internet, I still can't help but think they've taken them out of the tourist, but they just haven't taken the tourist out of them.

So now girls are all like, 

  

 "Oh, lord Jesus it's a fire!"  I ran out, I didn't grab no shoes (Birks don't count) or nothing, Jesus I ran for my life. Ain't nobody got time for that!"

"Wheee!I'm fab from the ankles up! Look at me go!"

So, to the fans of this combo from hell, I only say that I hope you grow tired of it soon. And should you be left with a sock'n'sandal shaped hole in your hearts, here's other equally ugly ass things you may wish revisit:

The fanny pack. 

The monocle (so hot right now).

The slanket.

The cameltoe.

Why not all of the above?? AT THE SAME TIME.

Seriously now, let's get over it asap before someone looks at crocs and goes 'what if?'. 

Sh*t I wore.

I wear pretty boring stuff most of the time, which is why I hardly ever post outfit photos. 

The difference between the clothes that make me dream and what I wear in real life is appaling. My job's pretty relaxed and creative, so there's no pressure to look a certain way unless I have meetings, so most of the time the effort I make is around sub-zero. The leather leggins and pink Airmax actually suggest I took some time to think about my appearance for half a second before stepping out of the house. I bought these Airmax totally inspired by my eclectic kuduro muse Blaya (from Buraka Som Sistema - go check them out if you haven't already heard of them). 

This skirt here, I do like, I gotta say. Got it at a vintage boutique in Marseille and I love the brushstroke pattern on it. Très abstract expressionist! 

And a sweater I made. 

My friend Mimi had this black vest from Mango that she layers on top of everything and I loved it especially when it had nothing to do with what she had underneath. So as her friend and number one fan I copied her as soon as I could and got myself one too. Here I am wearing the same vest with suit pants, Valentino shoes and a marinière, so it's like sporty-not sporty. 

Here I just layered textures. Love this Sessùn coat as if it was my own child. Also, this Zara knit sweater is so freaking identical to a Marni one I swear they are twins tragically separated at birth. :(

Moi, derping in front of the ladies room mirror to show you the same black vest layered over a suit-y type outfit (Zara shirt, Strenesse trousers beautifully made at our factory, yay!, Miu Miu shoes). To be honest I'm sort of channeling Riccardo Pozzoli here, as I love how he wears big sporty duffel vests over suits: 

 So that's it, really, not exactly Anna Dello Russo's fashion shower. Bye!