Shoe porn

Bow chick-a-wah-wooow!

A girl's hair

As you may have already noticed, I am no different from any other girl out there, which is basically another way of saying I love shopping, cry for no reason, have a - let's call it a "thing" - for shoes and, everytime I feel my life needs a kick in the arse, I go and get myself a haircut.

I came across this advert today and I instantly had a light bulb over head moment. BINGO.

 No - not the guy. HER. (Oh, by the way, I just read his name is André Saraiva - totally a portuguese name - and that he is a major graffiti artist. Will have to look into his work, after all he must be pretty relevant, otherwise wouldn't appear in a The Kooples advert, n'est-ce pas?). 

So, her hair is great, I really like this nonchalant, wholesome and girlie look. I'm getting myself sum'a that tomorrow afternoon, so yay!

Dear 2013:

Might I suggest that you bring me the following (in no particular order):

Let's be realistic here, it doesn't have to be Don Draper, but let's just keep him as a reference for my kind of tall, dark and handsome.

I would very much like to become the mummy of a french bulldog. Ideally, I would like my frenchie to be a girl. Her name would be... Aurora! (actually, my first plan was for it to be a boy frenchie because I had a much cooler boy name in mind; but the truth is, I do not like dog genitals dangling about. THERE. I SAID IT. It's the truth, you can't blame me for speaking the truth. Besides, I can always save that super cool name for a future son.)

Many of my friends are spread around the world. I love them and miss them. I would like to see as many of them as possible in 2013. 

2013 has some major challenges in store for me. It'll take courage, gracefulness, perseverance, positivity and a lot of hard work. Please make sure you throw in generous helpings of all these things.

 

I hope to attend many wonderful parties in 2013 (YOLO, right?). This is a broad category that also includes great live music shows and exhibitions - my two favourite things in life, which I am sure play a crucial role in keeping me sane. 

You'll agree that Christmas is no longer about saying happy birthday to Jesus - I am not judging, in fact I am totally fine with that as I feel no empathy with our Saviour. It now seems as though once we grow out of the excitement of receiving loads of toys on the same day, it becomes all about the food coma. So, in 2013 I would very much like to pursue a healthier lifestyle which doesn't involve eating Christmas desserts for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It'd also be nice if I actually started bothering with body lotion all year round and not just from June til September, which is when I wear skirts with no tights. Generally speaking, I hope to be better to myself from 2013 onwards, which would ideally involve being less self-critical and, while we're at it, it might also be a good idea to stop having bra-less afternoons on the sofa, munching away mindlessly. ;)

(To be continued...)

My MA thesis, in case you have nothing better to entertain yourselves with.

João Pedro Vale and Joana Vasconcelos: Portugal as a Peripheral Location of Cultural Production


[Edit: I am actually embarrassed of myself, blushing as I read it. Oh. My God.]

I got my mind set on you.

Who are they kidding? The Apocalypse is due tomorrow?? Apocalypse, Schmapocalypse. Pfah!
Look, all I know is the world CANNOT END BEFORE Net A Porter's international sale.

*sigh* I was getting ready to write a very insightful blog post on how this sale makes me feel, but then I remembered a song by former Beatle George Harrison, which basically does it all for me. Especially at that part where he mentions what a costly affair this is bound to be.

Coisas que eu queria que me viessem parar ao colo este Natal

Portei-me bem este ano. Fiz muitas coisas bem feitas, trabalhei bem, não me meti em sarilhos, paguei os meus impostos e as minhas contas, fui uma cidadã exemplar e, de modo geral, boa mocinha. Por isso aqui vai uma lista de presentes que eu queria receber este Natal. Não vá alguém aí andar a matutar no que me há-de oferecer...

Uma Rocco amarela, do Alexander Wang. É tudo de bom na vida de uma pessoa, materializado numa carteira. Amor à primeira vista.

Sei que é sintoma de velhice, mas começo a apreciar ter stock de álcool de grande qualidade em casa. Umas garrafinhas da Viúva e outras de Chriseya e - pronto! - contribuiriam seguramente para a minha felicidade.

Já agora, quem dá champanhe, dá flutes dignos. Estou muito precisada de flutes como deve ser (estes são Christofle, também não é preciso tanto!); uns que, quando se brinda, não façam 'plonk' de tão merdosos que são. #IKEA

Uma mesa para pôr na varanda, para tomar uns pequenos-almoços épicos ao fim de semana e, simultaneamente, deixar este esplendoroso sol Lisboeta tirar-me da alma o mofo que acumulo à semana. Blhec. Bastam duas cadeiras: uma para eu sentar o rabo e outra para apoiar os pés.

 Quem me conhece sabe que tenho um lado 50 Cent, ávido de bling. Um lado saciável com sapatilhas e óculos de sol Miu Miu cobertos de glitter e cristais. LOVE.

Uma coisa que eu sempre quis - MUITO - era uma daquelas caixas cheias deímanes com palavras escritas. Que maravilha poder, a qualquer instante, montar poemas, ideias, propostas indecentes, etc, na porta do frigorífico. Irresistível.

Hanky Code III, 2011, do João Pedro Vale, um artista cujo trabalho eu admiro muito. Amo esta série dele, dos lenços no bolso de trás das calças. Os lenços são uma espécie de linguagem, em que cada cor corresponde a um tipo de prática sexual gay. Acho demais, muito forte. Adorava ter um destes chez moi.


Tirando isso, preciso de quê? Ó pá, como toda a gente, preciso de pijamas, meias e cuecas. Mas não vejo esta coisa das prendas de Natal como sendo uma oportunidade para ter o que preciso. É mais para ter o que quero, e isso é sempre melhor, não é?

Work out playlist

I go to the gym pretty much everyday, even though it's not something I love doing. Things I love doing include doing nothing, reading magazines, buying shoes, going to exhibitions, drawing, drinking, kissing boys, dancing and eating lots of carbohydrates. There is one thing, however, that makes working out, mostly cardio (and jogging in particular), slightly more bearable: music of course. As a result, I am on the constant look out for good workout tunes.

And what makes a great workout tune, I hear you ask? Well, firstly, a deep, powerful beat. Rhythm is absolutely key, it's what gives you momentum. It's what makes me not listen to the endless excuses I keep coming up with: I'm tired, I'm bored, my knee hurts, my butt itches, now my face itches, I wanna go to the cinema and buy the biggest bucket of popcorn right now, oh is that a fly on the wall? and essentially stops me from being bored shitless. I can only do cardio if I'm listening to something that keeps my pace fast and steady or, in other words, something that makes me feel like a super hero.

Here's one of my favourites. If the guitar on this doesn't make you feel like a total rock star, then you need to get your soul fixed:

After this one, I tend to switch to The Black Keys. This one works great at a spead of 9.5mph:

Won't make you feel like a rockstar, but will surely give you the sensation of being the coolest person among your Rihanna-loving fellow gym-goers.

I was amused to find out Sisters of Mercy did great jogging songs. Who'd have thought, huh? So underground and goth and all that, who knew they make great cardio soundtracks. Plus, the songs go on and on FOR EVER.

Speaking of unlikely workout music,  how about a little blackmetal? This one's just perfect for running at a speed of 10.5mph. OMG can you believe the guitar on this!!!! AWRITE!

Then there's this contraption called a cross-trainer, which is an evil, evil machine that will make you hurt, and believe me, you will need all the musical help you can get to stay on it for more than a minute. I like silly, booty shaking songs when I'm on it. Here, a slower beat will do just fine. Here's the perfect Black Keys tune for it:

I love it when it goes DAADAH DAADAH DADADADAH. Whenever this one's on I always have to stop myself from doing a mind-blowing air guitar performance, as that would just seem weird.

 Then there's The Whip, this band I came across when a friend dragged me to a gig. They are a million times better live, very very intense, whereas on recordings they sound a bit too flat. But believe me, they will make you dance for hours and will entertain you on the cross-trainer.

When time comes to slow down a bit (my favourite part, of course), I like some Anna Calvi. It makes what everyone's doing around me suddenly look poetic. 'Desire' is great because it brings me that same feeling of when you've got a crush on someone. I like that a lot.

So, yes, gym music probably deserves a post of its own, although you could perhaps write an entire dissertation on it, especially if you approach it from that angle that explores how bad it is.

And to help you visualize my personal running experience, here's something I suspect sums it all up: