Work out playlist

I go to the gym pretty much everyday, even though it's not something I love doing. Things I love doing include doing nothing, reading magazines, buying shoes, going to exhibitions, drawing, drinking, kissing boys, dancing and eating lots of carbohydrates. There is one thing, however, that makes working out, mostly cardio (and jogging in particular), slightly more bearable: music of course. As a result, I am on the constant look out for good workout tunes.

And what makes a great workout tune, I hear you ask? Well, firstly, a deep, powerful beat. Rhythm is absolutely key, it's what gives you momentum. It's what makes me not listen to the endless excuses I keep coming up with: I'm tired, I'm bored, my knee hurts, my butt itches, now my face itches, I wanna go to the cinema and buy the biggest bucket of popcorn right now, oh is that a fly on the wall? and essentially stops me from being bored shitless. I can only do cardio if I'm listening to something that keeps my pace fast and steady or, in other words, something that makes me feel like a super hero.

Here's one of my favourites. If the guitar on this doesn't make you feel like a total rock star, then you need to get your soul fixed:

After this one, I tend to switch to The Black Keys. This one works great at a spead of 9.5mph:

Won't make you feel like a rockstar, but will surely give you the sensation of being the coolest person among your Rihanna-loving fellow gym-goers.

I was amused to find out Sisters of Mercy did great jogging songs. Who'd have thought, huh? So underground and goth and all that, who knew they make great cardio soundtracks. Plus, the songs go on and on FOR EVER.

Speaking of unlikely workout music,  how about a little blackmetal? This one's just perfect for running at a speed of 10.5mph. OMG can you believe the guitar on this!!!! AWRITE!

Then there's this contraption called a cross-trainer, which is an evil, evil machine that will make you hurt, and believe me, you will need all the musical help you can get to stay on it for more than a minute. I like silly, booty shaking songs when I'm on it. Here, a slower beat will do just fine. Here's the perfect Black Keys tune for it:

I love it when it goes DAADAH DAADAH DADADADAH. Whenever this one's on I always have to stop myself from doing a mind-blowing air guitar performance, as that would just seem weird.

 Then there's The Whip, this band I came across when a friend dragged me to a gig. They are a million times better live, very very intense, whereas on recordings they sound a bit too flat. But believe me, they will make you dance for hours and will entertain you on the cross-trainer.

When time comes to slow down a bit (my favourite part, of course), I like some Anna Calvi. It makes what everyone's doing around me suddenly look poetic. 'Desire' is great because it brings me that same feeling of when you've got a crush on someone. I like that a lot.

So, yes, gym music probably deserves a post of its own, although you could perhaps write an entire dissertation on it, especially if you approach it from that angle that explores how bad it is.

And to help you visualize my personal running experience, here's something I suspect sums it all up: