Cool as a cucumber.

This lobster ring by Virzi+De Luca (160€ at Net-a-Porter) is pretty much the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen.

In the Mood For

While everyone else plus their mothers seem to be detoxing themselves shitless via the ever so fashionable green juices, I've been busy eating Nutella straight out of the jar, cleaning dog barf and fantasizing about a couple of beautiful things, such as:

GIANVITO ROSSI, aka the maker of the sexiest shoes in the world. I mean, seriously, this is the stuff my (wet) dreams are made of. 

(fig.1 the shoe of a total B-A-W-S-S)

OVERALLS: not quite the uniform of seduction, but aren't they just a brilliant blank canvas offering infinite creative possibilities?

(fig.2 Current/Elliott overals + a classic marinière + awesome bold shoes - from top right, clock-wise: Prada, Manolo Blahnik, Vans, Valentino, Gianvito Rossi, Chloè. And boom! Bob's your uncle.)

SHE WANTS REVENGE, my latest musical obssession. If you're into Joy Division, this will sound familiar, although with an extra dash of sexy. Listen to the lyrics closely and you'll want to drag that special someone to a dark corner to do naughty things.

JEZEBEL.COM, my latest web addiction: a brilliant blog with "Celebrity, Sex, Fashion for Women. Without Airbrushing." as their editorial motto. They've just published a piece about Karl Lagerfeld's new boutique in London having mini iPads installed in the changing rooms so clients can take selfies whilst trying on the clothes. Good god, it really has come to this...

http://jezebel.com/karl-lagerfeld-s-new-store-has-ipads-in-the-dressing-ro-1544955595

Touch me babe

Love this Moschino bathing suit, it's just so... bow-chikka-wow-wow. 

My father's shoes

I've always been a pain in the ass (full stop) to my father (full stop pt.II) about his shoes because I've felt he could benefit from the constructive criticism and to be honest nowadays his shoes are a whole lot more stylish because of that. Hey, no need to thank me, Boss. I actually remember being little and thinking I'd never have a boyfriend who wore ugly shoes (then life was like 'lol kid, here, have a bunch of them') because looking at my dad and his boring dad loafers, I thought they pretty much summed up the worst in a man - being a massive bore.

But now I find myself lusting over a pair of shoes that are more conservative than those my father ever wore, and it's so ironic I'm surprised they haven't made it into the lyrics of an Alanis Morissette song. 

Speaking of irony, it seems to me it is key when it comes to tackling these babies, otherwise you risk looking like a torie/republican/right-wing god-fearing little asshole. So, how does one wear such shoe whilst maintaining the three basic qualities of an interesting human being (wit, sense of humor, a free spirit)? I think the trick is to either go a) intellectual; b) a little preppy, which really doesn't work on me because I just end up looking like a crossbreed between a salsa dancer and an accountant or c) fuck it all and just play random.

Given the options it's pretty obvious there's only one way for me to go, which is option c). Sure, it's the one with the highest risk of failure, but it's not like I'm trying out for the fashion Olympics or anything. These guys (above) are Zara, so not an expensive freudian dip into the masculine shoe universe. Who knows, right? If it's not too weird maybe I'll end up getting some proper big boy shoes, huh? Like these gorgeous, beautifully crafted Churches.

two sudden realizations than cannot go unnoticed

1. I'm sure this happens to everyone: it's when you're late that all traffic lights go red on you like a bunch of judgmental assholes just because you hit the snooze button a couple of times. BUT every time this happens to me my mind drifts off to a fantasy world where all of a sudden and totally miraculously, the whole country is integrated into an earlier time zone. And - boom! - my ass gets saved.

2. My most favourite object in the whole world is THE DISCO BALL. I love how a sphere covered in tiny square mirrors can be so magical and become  such a powerful symbol of awesome times. I don't think nightclubs actually have them anymore, but hey, I think that's like a massive strategic mistake that will cost them one day. I'm tellin' ya. *points finger*

Yaaaaaay!

           

Planet Disco Ball. I'll say, I quite like this.

Judith Leiber Disco Ball evening bag - I totes would.

Sweet jebus, you've answered my prayers as far as helmets are concerned.

D-I-S-C-O.

Oh, and lastly, a personal favourite: Miu Miu crystal embellished satin pumps. You know that work colleague  we've all had who's really straight until you see them at the office christmas party dancing like nobody's business after necking7 gin & tonics? This is their shoe equivalent. They are totally business at the front/party at the back.

Stupid ****ing rain.

Feels like it's been raining since the dawn of times. Plus I hate the whole gear: wellies, umbrellas, hate the whole kit, ya know, sweaty feet, and then comes a gust of wind and suddenly you're standing in the middle of the sidewalk looking like a douchebag with your umbrella twisted upwards.

So if I'm gonna get soaked anyway, here's what I'd like to get soaked in. (I'm totes embracing the old lady in me, and I'm getting a Goyard bag one of these days. Apparently conservative is the new revolutionary, hurrah dahlins.)

rain by anapprodrigues showing what to wear with a vintage black purse

BEHOLD...

THE VAGINA DRESS:

Vagina dress, by Chloé.